Self Help

There are various factors that come into play when looking at how to become pull free. It would be impossible to list everything that has helped individuals become pull free but we will look at a selection of the most successful day to day changes that can make a big difference.

Acceptance

First and foremost there is acceptance. No-one wants to have trich but accepting the condition is the first step. For some people acceptance means learning to live with the pulling, for others it means learning to live without it.

If you are one of the many people who choose to tackle the problem, education is an important factor. This site is a great place to start educating yourself about trich.

Controling the urge

Awareness

Gaining an awareness of when pulling is likely to occur will give you an advantage as pulling is often done in a trance like state. Keeping a diary or journal could be a vital key in identifying your pulling pattern. Keep a record of what you eat(this will be explained later), how you feel, how high your ugres are and, for women, your menstrual cycle. Many women will see a pattern that links to their cycle so keeping a record of this could prove very useful. It is recommended you keep a diary for about a month and then look back at the data. More often than not you will see a pattern emerge. Once you know your triggers e.g... Watching TV, reading, studying, you can work on strategies to avoid or limit the times pulling is most likely.

Establish an alternative behaviour

It seems like such a simple solution to a complex problem, but finding an alternative to the pulling is an essential part of recovery. As your awareness increases, you can put alternatives in place to distract you form pulling. For example: play doh to fiddle with while watching TV or pen and paper by the phone so you can draw or colour pictures. You can harness your natural creativity by establishing a hobby that requires the use of your hands such as cross stitching, candle making or jewelery making. It can also be helpful to have a barrier in place eg. wearing gloves or a hat. Rather than automatically pulling, you have to physically remove something to get to your hair. This gives you a little extra time to think about what you are doing and stop yourself from pulling. Where it is possible it is also great to get out. Most people do not like pulling in public so taking yourself out of a situation where pulling is likely to happen can be benefitial.

DISTRACTION AND BARRIER METHODS SUGGESTED BY OTHER TRICHSTERS

CROSS STITCH

ORAGAMI

PLAY DOH

KNITTING

DRAWING

WRITING

DANCING

GO FOR A WALK/RUN

HAVE A RELAXING BUBBLE BATH

SQUEEZE A STRESS BALL

PAINT YOUR NAILS

LEARN TO PLAY A MUSICAL INSTUMENT

WET YOUR HAIR

WEAR A HAT/GLOVES

YOGA/EXERCISE

FALSE NAILS

PLASTERS ON FINGERS

PLAY GAMES ON PHONE/INTERNET

RESEARCH A SUBJECT THAT INTERESTS YOU

LISTEN TO RELAXATION CD

POST ON MESSAGE BOARD

Stress Management

There is no doubt that stress triggers pulling, so finding an alternative stress release does help to control the urges. Stress has physical and emotional effects on us and can create positive and negative feelings. As a positive influence, stress can help compel us to action, it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective. As a negative influence, it can result in feelings of distrust, rejection, anger and depression, which in turn can lead to health problems such as headaches, upset stomach, insomnia, ulcers and high blood pressure. We cannot eliminate stress from our lives but we can learn how to manage it, and how to use it to help us. There are many ways to manage stress it requires working towards change. Change the source of stress or your reaction too it.

1. Become aware of your stressors and your reactions

Notice your distress. Don't ignore it. Don't gloss over your problems. Determine what events distress you. What are you telling yourself about the meaning of these events? Determine how your body responds to the stress. Do you become nervous or physically upset?

2. Recognize what you can change.

Can you change the causes of your distress by avoiding them or eliminating them completely? Can you shorten your exposure to stress by taking a break?

3. Reduce the intensity of your emotional reaction to stress.

The stress reaction is triggered by your perception of danger...this could be both physical and/or emotional danger. Are you exaggerating the causes of your stress and turning a difficult situation into a disaster? Are you expecting to please everyone? Are you over reacting and viewing things are critical when they need not be? Do you feel you must win in every situation? Adopt a more moderate view of stress. Try to see it as something you can cope with rather than something that overpowers you. Put things into perspective. Don't focus on any negative issues or 'what if's'.

4. Learn to control your physical reactions to stress.

Slow, deep breathing will bring your heart rate back to normal. Relaxation techniques can reduce muscle tension. In the short term, medication may help but it is preferable to learn how to control your stress on your own long term.

5. Look after your physical needs

Exercise three to four times a week (swimming, walking, cycling or jogging are great). Eat a well balanced diet. Maintain yuor weight. Avoid nicotine, caffine and other stimulants. If you need a break, take one. Get plenty of sleep.

6. Look after your emotional needs.

Develop mutually supportive friendships/relationships. Pursue realistic goals that mean something to you, not those that others set for you. Expect some frustrations, failures and sorrows. Always be a friend to yourself.

It is impossible to totaly eliminate stress from your life but you can eliminate some of the eveyday stresses by doing a few simple things:

~~listen to music
~~exercise
~~avoid caffine and alchohol
~~avoid watching tv before bed and get plenty of sleep
~~get up 15 mins early for work so you're not rushing around
~~Prepare for the morning the night before, make lunches, set out clothes, set breakfast table
~~write down appointment times for doctors, dentist, etc….
~~allow 15 mins extra for appointment times
~~write down your thoughts, this helps to clarify things and gives a new perspective
~~talk to someone you trust about things that are troubling you
~~procrastination is stressful, whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today, whatever you want to do today, do it now.
~~eliminate distructive selftalk, I am too old to…., I am too fat to…..
~~learn to live one day at a time
~~learn to say no…..do not take on too much
~~do one thing at a time
~~do unpleasant tasks early in the day so you will be free of anxiety
~~listen to your body….if you feel tense and your heart is pounding it is your body’s way of telling you to slow down
~~look for good things that happen in your day and count your blessings
~~don’t hold grudges…no-one is perfect…we all make mistakes…as you learn to forgive others you will learn to forgive yourself
~~allow yourself time everyday for privacy and quiet…unplug the phone.

Meditation

It may sound like a tedious passtime but once you master the simple techniques, it will become one of your favorite activities. Meditation attunes you to your higher self. The rewards are great, yet it is simple to do.

The brain never stops working. And there's nothing much you can do about it. You can't force yourself to stop thinking but you can step aside and just watch your thoughts. This, in essence, is what meditation is about. In daily life our thoughts rush, in meditation we focus them and reduce them so that the light of our inner self can shine. Inner peace is the greatest reward we could ever ecpect from life. The mind is like a glass of muddy water. The more you shake it the worse it gets. But if you leave it alone the mud will settle and the water becomes crystal clear.

Meditation and relaxation techniques

Try this simple exercise - Loosen tight clothing and sit somewhere comfortable. Let your breathing gradually become slow and deep. Next, when you inhale tell yourself 'i am' and when you exhale 'relaxed'. Repeat this a few times. When you say the word 'relaxed' to yourself, let your body sink further into the chair. This exercise will only take a few minutes, will slow the heart rate and raise the body temperature. These changes signify a relaxed state.

For relaxation - Stand up. Take a deep breath. Put both hands above your head and strech your whole body as if you've just woken from a deep sleep. Then let your whole body totally relax. Sit in a comfortable chair. Making sure your spine is erect, the chest and shoulders slightly back. Breathe gently from the diaphram. Now consciously relax the whole body. Start with the feet and work your way up, part by part, to the head. This can also be done while lying down, perhaps in bed before you drift off to a peaceful sleep.

Once you have mastered breathing and relaxation, you can move on to the next stage in meditation, visualisation. Sometimes visions will occur on thier own, other times you can paint your own picture. You may want to picure a beautiful scene, such as walking through a valley with lush green trees, waterfalls and singing birds. Walking in the mountains with crystal clear blue sky and coloured flowers. See the colours, smell the freedom in the air, let yourself become one with your vision. There is no more stress, no more tiredness...Just peace and tranquillity...

Getting support from other trichsters

Having the opportunity to discuss trich with fellow trichsters has a huge impact on your general well being. It takes away the stigma attached to trich and increases your self confidence, self esteem and feeling of belonging.

The message board at Trichotillomania Support UK has people from around Scotland, the UK and indeed the rest of the world, which offers a great opportunity to meet and get to know people without having to step foot outside your home. Having a network of supportive friends has proven to be a turning point for many people and given them the courage to attend face to face meetings. We have regular meetings which gives you the chance to bond with others and enjoy a day out without feeling the need to hide behind trich. You can keep yourself up to date with our meetings in the Trichotillomania Support UK forum.

Make sure you look out for Michelle (spinner) and Martin.

message board

Reducing the urge

Diet

Changes in diet can considerably reduce the itch like urge reported by a significant number of individuals with Trichotillomania. Many people have found a substantial improvement in urges by following the John Kender Diet. John is a trichster himself and he formulated the diet based on his own experiences and the experiences of others. He bases his diet on the theory that people with Trichotillomania experience irritation to the natural skin and stomach yeast, Malessezia. Certain foods are thought to increase the production of this yeast, causing increased urges. Similarly other foods are thought to reduce the production of the yeast, thus reducing the urges. The 'good' foods also seem to have a positive effect on mood. No scientific testing of this theory has taken place but many people who have tried the diet have seen a marked reduction in their urges and attained pull free status as a result. Children in particular seem to benefit from dietry changes.

SUGGESTED GOOD AND BAD FOODS ARE:

GOOD FOODS

BAD FOODS

Fructose

Sugar

Bananas

Caffine

Oranges

Chocolate

Cherries

Egg yolk (white is ok)

Lemon

Tomato seeds

Yoghurt (unsweetened)

Popcorn

Tropical Fruit (kiwi, pineapple, mango)

Nuts (especially peanuts)

Beef

Fatty Fish (tuna, herring)

Onions, Garlic

Shell Fish (prawns. crab)

Brussel Sprouts

Organ Meets (liver, kidney)

Legumes (beans, peas, soy)

The urge to pull is a powerful one but here are some points to remember when the urge to pull is upon you:-

1. Urges are uncomfortable, but not unbearable.
2. Urges do not last forever, they will pass.
3. It is ok to have urges, we all get them.
4. Distract yourself. Do something else with your hands.
5. Try to relax.
6. Remind yourself of your reasons for wanting to stop pulling.
7. Most important of all
Remember YOU HAVE THE POWER WITHIN YOU TO DEFEAT THE URGES.

Skin and Hair care

As with diet, skin and hair care products seem to have a possitive and negative effect on the itch like urge. Again no testing has taken place but John Kender has recovered helpful data from trichsters who have tried a wide variety of products.

It seems to be conditioners rather than shampoo that induces the itch so no amount of good shampoo is going to help is followed by a bad conditioner. It looks like the following ingredients are helpful for trich;

COCAMIDORPROPYL BETAINE

ETHOXYDIGLYCOL

IODOPRYNYL BUTEARBAMATE

Ahava shampoo has all of the above ingredients and is available on the web. So far this is the only shampoo we know of that contains all of the above ingredients.

Ph balanced shampoo appears to have a bad affect on the itch urge.

Aloa Vera (direct from the plant or in gel form) is very soothing on the scalp and can be used as a conditioner. Tea tree oil is also very soothing.

Some suggested bad products are shampoo, deoderant or hand cream containing the following;

ALCOHOL

CETYL

CETEARYL

CETOSTEARYL

How others can help

As well as learning how to cope yourself, it is important for those around you to be aware of what triggers your pulling and how they can help.

I think the single most important thing is being accepted and not trivialising trich. It is difficult for us to understand why we pull so you can imagine how hard it is for those that do not have trich to get to grips with it. The last thing we want to hear is 'Why don't you just stop'. Accepting that it is not as simple as just stopping and realising the physical and emotional effects of trich will comfort a trichster.

It is natural for friends or loved ones to worry, to blame themselves and to want to help you. They will often feel just as helpless as you so taking part is great for both the trichster and the parent, friend or partner. Communicating and telling each other how you feel opens so many doors and you can work on stratagies to overcome any difficulties.

Trichsters on the whole do not react well to criticism. Therefor it is vital that you are very careful how you say things. Critisism and putting a trichster down makes them feel inferior and that they can't do anything right. The 'why don't you just stop' question is not only trivialising trich but can also be seen as accusing them of not trying. Saying something like 'Is there anything i can do to help you stop pulling' is far more productive and rather than the trichster going on the defensive they are encouraged to think and talk about things that can help. This doesn't mean you can't be honest with a trichster if you feel they have done something wrong or offended you. It is simply wording it correctly so you minimise the blame factor.

Encouragement and praise are what trichsters need. Especially when they are actively pulling. They need to know they are still valuable people and loved by those around them. Self esteem, or lack of it, is a problem for most trichsters. Children respond particularly well to praise. Trichotillomania in childhood has been proven to be damaging if the wrong attitude is taken towards their pulling. If we are nurtured as children and encouraged to talk about our feelings we are less likely to carry negative baggage into adulthood. Often the shameful feelings associated with trich can be traced back to childhood when they were punished for pulling and not given the right support. Punishing anyone for pulling might seem like a good idea, but it makes the situation worse. Many people assume that punishment is a way to force the person to stop pulling, but it only adds to the shame, embarrassement and isolation they feel.

Children learn from the actions of their parents. If parents are ashamed of their childs pulling that child will go on to carry shame. If the parent is accepting of trich, supportive and talks openly and honestly with the child, they will be less likely to carry the shame and embarrassement.

Experiences

History